Why?

Why you become like this again?

Why you suddenly leave me again?

Why you suddenly act like this again?

I know I have no right to mad at you.

Why you become such a jackass again?

Can you at least give me a simple explaination? WHY?

Hah.. 

I don't know why suddenly I become so mad.

I'm hurt.

I'm lonely.

I can't stand the idea that you are not mine anymore.

I can't face the reality that we can't go back together anymore.

I know I'm not supposed to feel like this.

I know I'm wrong.

I know I said I've moved on.

Yeah, I moved on. 

But, it is not your fault that I failed to move on again. 

I guess I'll stay in the past forever.

Even if I look like I'm moving forward, actually it is not. It's just a fake-mask that I put on. 

I know I can't be like this.

But.. To be honest, I will never ever completely move on. 

No matter what happen, you'll always stay in my heart, forever.

I've told you, right?

That you will always have a special place in my heart.

And also, in my life.

Ah..

It's hurt.

It's so empty.

It feels like someone put their hand inside my chest and take something away. 

I feel so lost..

Trying to keep myself busy is not working, you know.

Because no matter what I do, I keep thinking about you.

Have you eat?

How's your day?

What plans do you have for today?

What are you doing right now?

I miss our conversations.

I miss you.

I miss your touch.

I miss your kisses.

I miss your hugs. 

I miss your voice.

I miss your hands wrapped around my waist when we're sleeping.

I miss seeing you in the morning when I wake up. 

I miss how you treat me so nicely.

I miss when you pull me closer when you're still asleep.

Oh God damn it, I miss everything about you.

It hurts, knowing you leaving without an explanation.

They sing about what I'm feeling right now

Embun pagi, katakan padanya biar ku dekap erat waktu dingin membelenggunya. 

Tahukah engkau, wahai langit? Aku ingin bertemu, membelai wajahnya...

Lelah ku sembunyi, tutupi maksud hati. Yang justru hidup karenamu, dan bisa mati tanpamu.

Andai saja aku masih punya kesempatan kedua.. Pasti akan ku hapuskan lukamu, menjagamu, memberimu segenap cinta. 

Kau bawa bersamamu sebelah hatiku, separuh jiwaku yang mampu sempurnakan aku. 

Kupegang erat dan ku halangi waktu, tak urung jua ku lihatnya pergi.

Tak pernah ku ragu dan selalu ku ingat, kerlingan matamu dah sentuhan hangat. Ku saat itu takut mencari makna, tumbuhkan rasa yang sesakkan dada.

Kau datang dan pergi begitu saja.

Semua ku terima begitu saja..

Mata terpejam dan hati bergumam, "Di ruang rindu kita bertemu.."

Kau begitu sempurna, dimataku kau begitu indah. Kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujamu..

Di setiap langkahku, ku kan selalu memikirkan dirimu, tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu. 

Kau genggam tanganku, saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh. Kau bisikkan kata, dan hapus semua sesalku..

Kupejamkan mata ini mencoba untuk melupakan segala kenangan indah tentang dirimu, tentang mimpiku. Semakin aku mencoba, bayangmu semakin nyata merasuk hingga ke jiwa..

Tak bisa aku ingkari engkaulah satu-satunya yang bisa membuat jiwaku yang pernah mati menjadi berarti. Namun kini kau menghilang bagaikan ditelan bumi.

Entah dimana dirimu berada.. Hampa terasa hidupku tanpa dirimu. Apakah disana selalu rindukan aku? Seperti diriku yang selalu merindukanmu.

Lagu Rindu - Kerispatih

Kesempatan Kedua - Tangga

Ruang Rindu - Letto

Sempurna - Andra & The Backbone

Hampa - Arilasso

My weakness.

When I scrolled my instagram home, I found your new post.

It's a video.

Video of you singing with your guitar.

I keep replaying that post. 

It's been 3 years, and still, I have a soft spot for you in my heart.

It's been 3 years, and still, you make my heart beats faster when you sing.

It's been 3 years, and still, I fall for you. 

Sometimes I regret that I said I've move on.

And I know for sure, you will always stay in my heart. No matter what.

Good morning, you. :)